Modest, Mouse-coloured People

I couldnt fit all of these songs into my photostory, so here’s all of them! plus i like extra credit!

Birth

Winter Light by Tim Finn

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It’s always in the back of your mind
When everything is dark, still something shines
One chilly afternoon, you drew the blind

The earth was frozen
Ice upon the water
All at once you saw her
There in the Winter Light

Then the light came bouncin’ up, from stony ground
And deep within the earth you heard the sound
Breakin’ like a rock you grew profound

The earth was frozen
Ice upon the water
All at once you saw her
There in the Winter Light
There in the Winter Light
There in the Winter Light
Making everything look beautiful

Light, a child with his own fantasmagoria
Light that spills from billions of excited atoms
Light that lingers in a quiet room
Reveal for me shine for me
There in the Winter Light
Shine for me, reveal for me
There in the Winter Light
There in the Winter Light

The song talks about light as a child. And it is my firm belief that children, when the first come into the world, are a source of wonder for us all.  I’m no exception.  I also love they way he talks about a woman, this song could also work for a goddess, if i had one.

World

My People by The Presets

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I’m here with all of my people
Locked up with all of my people
So let me hear you scream if you’re with me

So let’s head in your room lovely
I’ll follow
All around the world for you
And you’ll find out tonight oh it’s a world of extreme

Oh they’ll take all our ceremony
They’ll never
Find a happy hope for you
But know that’s not the only chance you’ll get, yeah you’ll see

I’m here with all of my people
Locked up with all of my people
So let me hear you scream if you’re with me

I’m here with all of my people
Shut down with all of my people
So let me hear you scream if you’re with me

Still the celebration haunts
Today I
Heard it on the radio
You’ve gone and found a way to get me out from this place

Soldiers on the water front
They wanna
Ship me far away
I’ll find my way tonight so I can find my way to you

I’m here with all of my people
Locked up with all of my people
So let me hear you scream if you’re with me

I’m here with all of my people
Shut down with all of my people
So let me hear you scream if you’re with me

I’m here with all of my people
Locked up with all of my people

I’m here with all of my people
Shut down all of my people

And it feels so
And it feels so good
And it feels so
And it feels so good
And it feels so
And it feels so good
And it feels so
And it feels so good
And it feels so…

I’m here with all of my people
Locked up with all of my people
So let me hear you scream if you’re with me

I’m here with all of my people
Party time all of my people
So let me hear you scream if you’re with me

This song is a little scary sounding. And my world was incredibly confusing (grammar frightens me). The part “i’m here with all of my people, locked up with all of my people” works for my journey. Although i had friends and had fun in latvian school and at home, something was missing until high school.

Call

Labvakari Rudzu Lauksi – Tradional , sung by GVV class of 2009

No video for this one. but i sung it…its in the video! it counts!

Its haunting, its beautiful, its all in latvian.  The lyrics talk of various grains and plants and their flowers, but the repeated part is “Ka Dievinis Tev Lizeja” translates to “how God peeled you” or “In the way God formed you” which definitly ties to the hero journey.  Each flower of the song is unique and special, as is each human.  That was what i was called to, a sense of individuality.

Supernatural Aid

Upside Down- Jack Johnson

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Who’s to say
What’s impossible
Well they forgot
This world keeps spinning
And with each new day
I can feel a change in everything
And as the surface breaks reflections fade
But in some ways they remain the same
And as my mind begins to spread its wings
There’s no stoppin’ curiosity

I wanna turn the whole thing upside down
I’ll find the things they say just can’t be found
I’ll share this love I find with everyone
We’ll sing and dance to Mother Nature’s song
I don’t want this feeling to go away

Who’s to say
I can’t do everything
Well I can try
And as I roll along I begin to find
Things aren’t always just what they seem

I wanna turn the whole thing upside down
I’ll find the things they say just can’t be found
I’ll share this love I find with everyone
We’ll sing and dance to Mother Nature’s song
This world keeps spinning and there’s no time to waste
Will it all keep spinning and spinning round and round and

Upside down
Who’s to say whats impossible and can’t be found
I don’t want this feeling to go away

Please Don’t go away
Please Don’t go away
Please don’t go away
is this how it’s supposed to be
is this how it’s supposed to be

After several teachers at Latvian school gave up on me, Guna Asone flipped my world over by showing me that it was still possible for me to catch up to my classmates. She once told my dad “I have to stop asking her questions now, because she gets them all right and i have to let the other kids learn”  I owe her everything, and I love making her proud.  She herself is an incredible hero

Belly of the Whale

The Predatory Wasp of the Palisades is Out to Get Us! by Sufjan Stevens

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Thinking outrageously I write in cursive
I hide in my bed with the lights on the floor
Wearing three layers of coats and leg warmers
I see my own breath on the face of the door

Oh I am not quite sleeping
Oh I am fast in bed
There on the wall in the bedroom creeping
I see a wasp with her wings outstretched

North of Savanna we swim in the palisades
I come out wearing my brother’s red hat
There on his shoulder my best friend is bit seven times
He runs washing his face in his hands

Oh how I meant to tease him
Oh how I meant no harm
Touching his back with my hand I kiss him
I see the wasp on the length of my arm

Oh great sights upon this state! Hallelu–
Wonders bright, and rivers, lake. Hallelu–
Trail of Tears and Horseshoe Lake. Hallelu–
trusting things beyond mistake. Hallelu–

We were in love, we were in love
Palisades palisades palisades
I can wait, I can wait
[Lamb of God, we sound the horn. Hallelujah!
To us your ghost is born. Hallelu–]

I can’t explain the state that I’m in
The state of my heart, he was my best friend
Into the car, from the back seat
Oh admiration in falling asleep
All of my powers, day after day
I can tell you, we swaggered and swayed
Deep in the tower, the prairies below
I can tell you, the telling gets old
Terrible sting and terrible storm
I can tell you the day we were born
My friend is gone, he ran away
I can tell you, I love him each day
Though we have sparred, wrestled and raged
I can tell you I love him each day
Terrible sting and terrible storm
I can tell you…

“i cant explain the state that i’m in, the state of my heart, he was my best friend”
Freshman year was kind of a drag. New school, new friends, new mind set.  It was interesting and i reflected quite a bit, but wasnt nearly as meaningful as my latvian high school and friends. Something was gone when i got lost in the freshman shuffle.

Road of Trials

Say It Ain’t So by Weezer

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Oh yeah.
All right.

Somebody’s Heine’ is crowdin’ my icebox
Somebody’s cold one is givin’ me chills
Guess I’ll just close my eyes

Oh yeah
Alright
Feels good
Inside

Flip on the tele’
Wrestle with Jimmy
Something is bubbling
Behind my back
The bottle is ready to blow

Say it ain’t so
Your drug is a heartbreaker
Say it ain’t so
My love is a lifetaker

I can’t confront you
I never could do
That which might hurt you
So try and be cool
When I say
This way is a waterslide away from me that takes you further every day (hey)
So be cool

Say it ain’t so
Your drug is a heartbreaker
Say it ain’t so
My love is a lifetaker

Dear Daddy,
I write you in spite of years of silence.
You’ve cleaned up, found Jesus,
things are good or so I hear.
This bottle of Steven’s
awakens ancient feelings.
Like father, stepfather, the son is drowning in the flood

Yeah, yeah yeah, yeah yeah.

Say it ain’t so
Your drug is a heartbreaker
Say it ain’t so
My love is a lifetaker

“Somebody’s cold one is giving me chills.
Guess I’ll just close my eyes.”   Trials, especially all of those tests, were hard to overcome. A lot of times i just tried to wish it all away and procrastinated (like i still do) until everything caught up with me. “your drug is a heart breaker” The “Latvian experience” is like a stimulant; its a rush, a high, enlightenment, happiness, but when i go without it, it breaks my heart. the worst kind of withdrawal.

Apotheosis

I Feel Home by OAR (below is a cover)

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There are few things pure in this world anymore,
and home is one of the few.
We’d have a drink outside,
maybe run and hide if we saw a couple men in blue.
To me it’s so damn easy to see
that true people are the people at home.
Well, I’ve been away but now I’m back today,
and there ain’t a place I’d rather go.
I feel home,
when I see the faces that remember my own.
I feel home,
when I’m chilling outside with the people I know.
I feel home,
and that’s just what I feel.
Home to me is reality,
and all I need is something real.

Feeling alright, heading out tonight,
maybe out to a dark driveway.
I say now some feel bored,
and some are looking for more.
Well, we all just decide to stay.
We got nothing to do,
and I look at you
I see something that I know and love.
and with the crack of a smile we all stay a while
we know from home there ain’t nothing above.

Well in the end we can all call a friend
well that’s something I know as true.
And then a thousand years and a thousand tears
I’ll come finding my original crew

cause to me throughout eternity
there’s somewhere where you’re welcome to go
I said it’s something free that means a lot to me
when I’m with my friends I feel home.

I feel home,
when I see the faces that remember my own
I feel home,
when I’m chilling outside with the people I know.
I feel home,
and that’s just what I feel.
Home to me is reality,
and all I need something real
Home to me is reality,
and all I need something real

I feel home.

Camp and being among latvians is where i truely feel at home.  And as the song says…home to me is reality.. the ultimate reality.  It’s the most important part of me, the part i could scream about.

Boon

I’m Going to go Back There Someday by Gonzo
ignore the lame animation that goes along with the song, its the only full length version i could find.

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This looks familiar, vaguely familiar,
Almost unreal, yet, it’s too soon to feel yet.
Close to my soul, and yet so far away.
I’m going to go back there someday.
Sun rises, night falls, sometimes the sky calls.
Is that a song there, and do I belong there?
I’ve never been there, but I know the way.
I’m going to go back there someday.

Come and go with me, it’s more fun to share,
We’ll both be completely at home in midair.
We’re flyin’, not walkin’, on featherless wings.
We can hold onto love like invisible strings.

There’s not a word yet for old friends who’ve just met.
Part heaven, part space, or have I found my place?
You can just visit, but I plan to stay.
I’m going to go back there someday.
I’m going to go back there someday.

I love this song. “there’s not a word yet for old friends who just met” exactly describes the friendships i made that summer. leaving them was torture, but i knew i was going to go back there someday.  There was always a sense that I didnt totally belong at Brebeuf.  But camp brings a total feeling of peace.

So…we’re watching the matrix.  This film is equivilant to the Bible for me, but i am a little disappointed that we arent watching fight club. i’ve never seen that. D:

here’s a comic about the matrix!

http://xkcd.com/566/

its very funny.

rock paper scissors lizard spock

i tried to trip you up with several puns, but no pun in ten did.

haha.  List of terrible geology puns:

“You breccia.”
“Of quartz you may.”
“Bull schist.”
“You better calm down. You’re started to look like a real ash hole. Wouldn’t want you going all rhyolitic on us.”

Really, really terrible geology puns:
*while holding pencil* “I think you’re not getting the point. Graphite is a great resource.”
Geology Rocks!
*while holding up a sample of quarts* “That’s some nice cleavage you’ve got going on there.”
“Hey. Don’t take it for granite.”
“That guy’s pretty wacke.”
“It’s not my fault, it’s your fault!”

these are courtesy of the xkcd blog

THE MEDICINES

3/13: I’m a partial person.  I suppose i know a lot of things, but i find it difficult to connect with anything. (a cynic knows the price of everything, but the value of nothing)

update 3/22: I collected five of them. According to the handy number symbolism provided, this awakens the deeper, stronger effeminate.  Which is really wild, since I am a lady, and I really like that. Women are strong. We give birth and cook and have fun and all that other crazy stuff that is life.  What a wild thing to be… 
I especially took to heart: “As human beings, we have to grow through confrontation; if we stand still we shall get rigid” since conflict theory is my favorite sociological theory.  It basically means that human interaction can be defined through conflict and competition.  Like competition to collect these medicines.
here are mine. I chose them because they are some of my favorite qualities in a person.  To collect them all would be asking to much of others i think.  People are different.

COURAGE: I loooove to colour. my crayon is a love-ly green hue. Mr. Hicks had this one, which is apt, since speech was a most daunting class…i spoke for eight minutes on kleptomania and the american government. my, my.
Anyways, i need courage, cause these are rock hard times…and i really just need to learn how to face my problems instead of just throwing a bandaid on them 

DISCERNMENT: I like this, because not a lot of people have this quality.  It would help to know how to choose which battles to fight.  I almost never know, which is why i’m so hard to get along with.  I can be really nit-picky at times.

STRENGTH: I have it. But maybe not enough.  It really is like sand.  Stuff still gets through and wears heavily upon me.  Again, strength to choose the right battles to fight.

INTEGRITY: Not a lot of people have this either. I have integrity personally, I can keep a secret to the grave…especially if its MY secret (i dont find any pressure to let the world know deep things about me). I dont, however, have much integrity academically or time-wise.  I procrastinate to no end.  like writing this post at midnight…whoops.

SELFLESSNESS: I spend so much time thinking about me.  Especially now, in these rock hard times, when sometimes it really is good to do whats best for yourself first.  I had to do that a little while ago (i wont go into any details, since it concerns my personal life…O.o), and it was easy at the time.  But then i used it as an excuse for a lot of things, and I ended up getting so wrapped up in myself that i finally snapped and cried for hours about everything and nothing.  So…selflessness. I am important, but i cant let that be the only thing that dictates my actions. i need to move farther South on the compass of humanity.

I find it funny that i relate myself to the North, but according to the passage, the colour of the south is green.   i made sure everything in my bag was green (if i had the option). didnt realize that till just now.

Rock Hard Times
The Eels

They told me that I couldn’t come back here again
Took me for some kind of fool
Said I was doing things that never should be done
But I don’t care about their rules

And everybody knows these are rock hard times
I gotta make it through
These are rock hard times
These are rock hard times

did anyone ever like these things as a kid? they kind of annoyed me since i could never make the really cool pictures that were on the box. like the one of the dinosaur.

not fair.

anyways, i much prefered chalk to any other medium as a child. my feet would turn black because i spent so much time running around the asphault driveway.

So last week i went on K67 and it was a FABULOUS experience. Im not gonna say i’m drastically different or that i love everybody now, but i’m definitely a [slightly] different person.

I would recommend investing your time in a future kairos, if you have not already.

and on to new news:
today i somehow magnetized my scissors. there is needle sticking to them with out any sort of adhesive. which is cool. but i dont know how it happened. i will investigate further in the next week, after i finish all of my make up work and my position paper.

i really dislike valentines day. mainly because i hate all people and its such a big, over advertised, pink, shiny, commercial thing.. (blah, blah, blah)

but in the spirit of the upcoming lovey dovey-ness heres what i think you should do:

go out and get your special someone (as long as its not me) something nice. a stick from your back yard, flowers, a card, a link to a funny web comic, whatever. just let them know you care about them. and stuff. i dont know your human emotion of “love” but i know what makes me happy, and webcomics and sticks make me happy. yay. that last sentence didnt make much sense.

stay away from me on the 14th. i know everyone stays away anyways, but february fourteenth is officially “EDITE’S SACRED ALONE TIME DAY”

not valentines day.

i wouldnt say no to flowers, though.

here’s a star trek spin on that old favorite

yay! you can make up your own symbol for lizard, but spock is the vulcan salute:

the fever broke!! woohoo! i still pretty much hate people, but i’m going to be nicer about it. yay for readers!

ewww bagels + toasting = cardboard. but doughnuts are good. i had one this morning! yummo!

so umm… i think i’m actually getting worse  (in terms of illness) but i’m coming to school today because my mom is sick of me sitting at home watching star trek all day. yes, i am a born again trekkie! i have decided to become a starfleet commander, rather than a jedi, even if that means i go without the force choke hold thing. yay for vulcan mind meld!

I <3 next generation…i grew up watching star trek (and cops…and the simpsons…explains a lot, doesnt it?). 

there is the real world, where there are things for me to worry about. like the riots in latvia. or sleep deprivation. or three day weekends. or gravity. or the sudden onset of unwanted people who seem to think i like them. O.o
then theres the blog world. where i can spew anything and everything (like this, WOW) and only a few people are going to read it or care about it. some people may find that ok, that they get their feelings out in the open, but i like to keep my private thoughts…private. they are mine. my own. and the internet is no place for them. a classroom maybe.
SO…i’m going to give up on trying to be reflective, because, frankly, i dont want to share. this blog will contain far more practical things such as jack the ripper conspiracy theories and protons and sand.

but maybe this is the fever talking. i’m just not a big fan of human kind right now, hmm?